Before we blog it out – have you seen the Black Panther movie? I’m going tomorrow with my cousin, but social media is blowing UP with reactions to the movie and I am SUPER excited!
Okay now on to the blog…
I have to be honest – this cross promotion is working out a lot better than I anticipated! haha I’ve received texts and comments from others saying how much they’re enjoying my friends’ writing. Didn’t I tell you they were amazing? We have two more guests that are coming to bless the blog this month and I know it’s going to be a treat.
Remember when I mentioned my friend Cass who calls our first guest blogger “Mariah J.Cole?” Well, when she’s not using her therapist credentials to save the world or chopping it up as a co-host on the People On My Porch Podcast, you can find her blogging under the name Controversial Cass. Cassanora uses her intelligence, whit, and sheer humor to dispel group think and assumptions about relationships. Recently, she turned 30 and I got her to curate one of her reflective birthday pieces for you. I haven’t done a “list” or “Top 5” blog in a while and am glad Cass can bring it back! It’s certainly Buzzfeed-esque (and who doesn’t love Buzzfeed?).
Let me know if you can relate to the gems she is dropping below and show her some love on Instagram @controversialcass!
5 LESSONS MY 20’S TAUGHT ME
#1: INSECURITIES ARE TOTALLY NORMAL
Yes, I know what I said. We live in a world that encourages insecurities, so it stands to reason that we have some. Congratulations, you’re human! You don’t feel completely confident about every aspect of your life. THAT’S OK! Sometimes we’re unsure of ourselves. Those feelings aren’t the problem; how we respond to our insecurities is what creates issues. You can be insecure without being immature.
#2: FINISHED IS NOT FAILURE
Just because something ended it doesn’t mean that it failed – this includes relationships, friendships, jobs etc. Everything isn’t meant for forever. As disheartening as it may be to walk away from something you’ve invested time and energy into or developed a sense of devotion to, it is often for the best. Potted plants that aren’t repotted eventually die because their current environment is no longer sustaining them.Sometimes in order to thrive you have to change your surroundings. Don’t allow having history with someone or something to stunt your growth. It takes true growth to recognize when an encounter has reached the end of its season.
#3: PAIN IS UNAVOIDABLE, BUT IT IS ALSO BEARABLE
It’s unrealistic to desire to live a life without pain. It’s also completely human to not want to experience it. Let’s just be honest, being in pain is the pits! Nobody signs up for it and you always end up with the short end of the stick. Someone causes the damage and you’re stuck with the responsibility of making the repairs. Unfortunately, while life makes us very few promises, pain is a virtual certainty. Luckily, people have been experiencing, enduring, and overcoming pain since the dawn of time. Don’t become so preoccupied with avoiding pain that you avoid life. You can deal and you can heal!
#4: HAVING IT ALL IS RELATIVE
Women joined the workforce and society thrust upon us this notion of “having it all” (Because it’s absurd to want a career and not want a family). However, my “it all” isn’t everyone’s “it all.” Some want husbands, children, and careers. Some just want a husband and a career. Some couldn’t care less about a career and only want a family. Having it all is having all of what you want, nothing more, nothing less.
#5: BE RADICAL
Change seldom happens when people do more of the same. Shake things up! Each one of us has something we want to do differently, better, or more consistently; go for it. There are two kinds of opportunities, the ones you’re prepared for and those you miss! The project you’ve been meaning to start, those investments you’ve been talking about making, that solo international trip you’ve been dreaming of…don’t talk about it, be about it. If you’re dissatisfied with your life, your body, your finances, your relationships or your job then do something about it. We get one chance to live our best lives and sometimes that means taking risks and seizing larger than life opportunities. You can live a safe life, or you can live a fulfilling one, it’s almost impossible to do both.
ABOUT CASSANORA: Cassanora Lampley is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She is passionate about serving children in Nashville through youth development programs and mental health awareness initiatives. She empowers millennials to have healthy, meaningful relationships by delivering hard truths with soft hands. Cassanora is the co-host of People On My Porch, a podcast expressing the complex views of urban young professionals. The podcast is available on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, & Podbean. (New episodes upload every Wednesday). To keep up with Cassanora and all things controversial subscribe to her blog at www.controversialcass.com. Follow her on Instagram @controversialcass and the podcast @peopleonmyporch.
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